What is happening to me?
by Mirinao
Summary: After the rescue from Katniss's second round in the games, she is left confused and deflated.  Ever wonder where her thoughts go? To whom her thoughts go?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or settings!...My first try on one of these-hope you like and comment!**

"Katniss Everdeen," Gale murmured in one of his unusual moments of affection. He stroked my hair, and I closed my eyes, losing myself in his hands, his closeness. "My Katnip."

"Katniss!" Peeta's agitated scream filled my ears. I awoke with a start, his scream still ringing through my mind. Sweat plastered my night-black hair to my forehead, and my breath came in and out in quick gasps. Peeta was alright, I told myself; he was in the next room. We were on a train for our victory tour; Gale wasn't here, he was back at District Twelve –at home. I collapsed against the pillows. Suddenly, I was more tied than I had been when I had fallen asleep the night before.

I heard a thud against my door, followed shortly by a moan. I got out of bed and tiptoed to the door, reluctant to open it. Yet I did, and it opened without so much as a creak. I looked up at the shadowed character now huddled in my doorway.

"Haymitch," I whispered. Squinting at him, I pushed damp hair away from my face.

"Katniss," he moaned, "They've taken away my bottles, I see shadows, they're everywhere…."

"Well, now you'll have to suffer the real world along with the rest of us," I observed dryly. "Where's Peeta? He should be here to witness this." At the mention of Peeta, Haymitch's head shot up.

"Peeta? Katniss-" his face twisted with unexplainable sorrow. Typical, since Peeta was his favourite student between the two of us. But why…? "Peeta was caught…"Haymitch started, "…The Capitol has him…Don't you remember?" All the memories came flooding back. I blinked with shock as I relived my second time in the Games. Haymitch called for my mother as I started to scream.

"No, no, PEETA! NO! NO, NO NO!" My screams could be heard throughout the District Thirteen levels. And somewhere, deep beneath the ground, I collapsed, Haymitch diving to catch me.


	2. Chapter 2

Peeta was kissing me. They were long, deep kisses, and very much unlike the short, quick kisses we had shared in the Games. Right now, there was only him and I –oh, so much of him.

"I love you, Katniss Everdeen," he murmured to me, "I will always be here, always."

His kisses were fire, enveloped me and left me wishing for more; something I hadn't done a lot of since we had first entered the Games. Only Gale had made me really feel hope after my dad had died…Gale. He was like a bucket of cold water thrown over my naked body, leaving me shivering and raw, but completely awake. Oh, Gale…

I awoke sitting on a stool in my mother's kitchen, hand holding my head up as I dozed on a stool. I rubbed my eyes, yawning and took in the room as I had so many times before. Then I was forced to do a double take. There was someone lying on the kitchen table, their back a bloody mess. It looked like it was done by whiplashes. My heart stopped as the person hissed in pain. It was Peeta. I covered my mouth in case a scream found its way out and spun around, hoping he hadn't been competent enough to notice my horrified expression.

"Katnip," he groaned. Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt tears spill out the sides. I took a breath and steeled myself. _Peeta needs me, _I told myself firmly. I turned, hands brushing away imaginary dust on my shirt.

"Hmmm?" I said, not trusting my voice not to waver. I swept black hair out of my eyes.

"Come…. Please," he gasped then, almost delirious from the pain. I started to shout for my mother when he groaned again. "Katniss."

I ran to him then, scooping up one of his hands in both of mine. Mine were lost under his. I pressed my lips to it before holding it to my cheek, tears spilling over.

"I'm here," I told him, "I'll always be here, even if you don't want me."

He smiled then, or at least, tried to. It looked like more of a grimace of pain. "Who. Would ever, not want you?" I tried to smile back, but faltered. I stroked some of his blonde hair out of his face. His usually clear blue eyes were clouded in pain.

Their moment ended abruptly as the door slammed open and Haymitch fell in, and then flat on the floor, dead. I screamed. President Snow stepped in and over Haymitch's dead body. He looked at it calmly before facing ,e.

"He was in my way," he said, smirking, blood red lips vivid against his skin and suit. I glared, but stayed by Peeta's side. "you know who I've come for," he said, and I screamed again, louder now, because I did know, and it wasn't me.


	3. Chapter 3

Gale and I were running for the hospital, grappling for our arrows, bows already in hand. People ran in the opposite direction. Piles of rubble and bodies were strewn everywhere. We flew over them, darting around like mockingjays. We shot planes as soon as they came into view. Finally, no more planes. The hospital was saved…

Whoa, hold on a second. The hospital was saved? Not in my hellish dimension. What about Peeta –the marks across his back… Yet now I think it might have been Gale. Haymitch, groaning in my doorway; Gale, stroking my hair. My mother, Prim, Greasy Sae; how was I to know what memories were real, what _really_ happened? Did I ever actually enter the Games? Yes, I know that for sure. I _did _enter the Games; I _did_ win, with Peeta at my side.

_What was going on? _ My head whirred, and tried to suck me under again, to who knows where. I was frightened, I didn't want to be lost in my mind. I wasn't sure of what I would find there…. _Oh no, _I thought, and then I was lost.

Bright lights pierced the back of my eyelids. I screwed up my face and moaned, trying to make it go away, but as I raised my hand to cover my eyes, a very real pain shot up it. A voice spoke then, one I had half-expected never to hear again.

"Katniss? Katniss. See, she's up now. Can I _please _stay with my sister a while longer? She _needs _me." Prim's innocent, young tones gave me strength.

"Prim," I groaned, fidgeting on my back. I opened my eyes a pinch, just enough to see my sister's slim figure warding away someone I didn't know. Prim looked at me just long enough to wink before turning back.

"Look at her," she was saying, "she'll only be here with us for a few moments, just leave us in piece…" _Uh-oh, _I thought, as the darkness started to tug me back in. I had no strength to stop it. Soon my mind had folded against me, and I was gone.

"Katniss," A voice said with obvious relief, "they weren't sure when you would wake up. I _warned _them not to put you under again." _So was Prim just another dream? _I thought to myself slowly. _Do I dare get attached to this vision too? _She couldn't resist, so she stayed 'awake'.

"…Said it would help with the pain for Peeta." I blinked my eyes open and shifted toward the voice. It wasn't easy, taking all the wires stuck in my arms under consideration.

"Gale," I murmured, for I was sure it was him. No one, other than a mockingjay, could imitate those deep, affectionate tones. I reached out a hand –and felt a surprisingly real hand clutch mine in return.

"We're in District Thirteen, Katniss, in case you forgot again. Haymitch said you… were confused and has collapsed when he brought you in. That's why you're still-" _Yeah, if confused meant screaming at the top of my lungs because I had forgotten that I had abandoned Peeta, _I thought as my memory of that moment seeped back in. I squeezed Gale's hand.

"You're here," I murmured, and I could hear him laugh silently under his breath.

"I'll _always_ be here," he said, and I heard the smile in his voice, "I'm your hunting partner. Where else would I be?" Near the end, his voice cracked, and I knew that I wasn't just hurting myself. I dropped his hand, and moved it against his cheek; it was my turn to reassure _him_. He held it there, and I felt him take a breath.

"Gale," I said, and he put my hand in both of his, they were so big that my own was swallowed within them.

"I'm here, Katniss," He said, voice rough with emotion, "I'll always be here; always, always, always."

**If only that was true.**


End file.
